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As a reader, have you ever marked a page in a sexy novel to go back and re-read? You know, the really hot parts? They resonated with you, and you wanted to experience them again.
Suppose you were reading short erotic stories created for that very purpose?
Welcome to my world. I’m a retired sex therapist and educator who crafts erotic fantasies to arouse your mind and other parts.
I do this because I know that pleasure begins with the self. And, I do this to create permission for all of you who received negative messages about your sexuality while growing up. I write so you feel the permission that your sexuality and desires are an open and honest part of you.
I write erotica for empowerment, yours and mine.
With erotica you can put yourself in the driver’s seat and use it to create a personal user’s manual of your body. And when you are ready, you can share this with your partner(s).
Here’s how reading erotica can light new fires in you, stoking your wants and desires.
THE BODY-MIND CONNECTION.
As a therapist, I used Dr. David Schnarch’s Quantum Model (QM) to assist clients with sexual concerns. It’s a good way to explain how our bodies respond to sexual stimuli like erotica.
The Quantum Model’s Components of Total Stimulation.
Total stimulation is needed in order to experience the two automatic reflexes of genital response - arousal (lubrication) and orgasm.
- The baseline QM component is that your body is healthy and capable. A physical exam by your OB-GYN can determine this.
- The second QM component is that you can respond to all physical sensory inputs (touches to the body). i.e. You know what feels good and where.
- And third, you connect to your thoughts, feelings, and emotions (the mind). Remember those pages you marked, you connected in your mind.
So, let’s consider an erotica story and move it through this model.
Ease of Use of Erotica.
Erotica can be digested in many forms depending on your comfort level and personal taste. It can be explored by: reading to one’s self, to a partner, a partner can read to you. For a true hands-free experience, you can listen to audio for yourself or with a partner(s).
First, decide where you are in your exploration. Are you investigating your sexuality fantasies for your manual and yourself, or revisiting them for refinement? Or are you checking out something new?
Let’s filter this through your QM investigation continuum.
If you are solo pleasuring or with a partner or partners, observe. Listen. When you hold the story images in your head, do you touch your body? Allow someone else to?
Maybe a steamy story with minimal touch gets you going. Maybe a lot of touch with minimal reading gets you going. Maybe the amounts are equal.
When you apply the Quantum Model to your response, the amount of stimulation of the body-mind components can vary. This is the unique and wonderful part of the model. Only you know what amounts you need of what. It’s the MORE factor. Do you need more mind or more body stimulation? It’s your job to communicate, to yourself and/or a partner.
When you have a brain/body connection and you understand it and use it, your sexual encounters can become full, meaningful, and passionate. If you understand the feedback loop, then you will always learn more about yourself and erotica is a great non-invasive sexual aid to use for that.
Sex researcher, Justin Lehmiller, has brought forward fresh information about American’s sexual fantasies, in his book Tell Me What You Want. In doing so, concludes what’s normative. He categorized his research into seven unique areas of fantasy. In rank order beginning with the most popular fantasy themes: Multi-partner sex, Power & Control, Novelty, Adventure, Variety, Taboo & Forbidden Sex, Partner Sharing & Non-monogamy, Passion & Romance and Erotic Flexibility-homoeroticism and gender-bending.
He suggests that these themes show our interest in exploring sexuality differently than the learned norms of our upbringing. By breaking past our familial, cultural or religious beliefs, our fantasies can add MORE to the mind stimulation.
Your choice of fantasy may be directly tied to heightened total stimulation. That is, some fantasies will stimulate you and some won’t. This, too, goes on your investigation list.
Erotica authors have done the work of categorizing the fantasy they created. You can sample the topics you think will arouse you and maybe you will surprise yourself with areas you didn’t expect would arouse. Erotica writers can be your link to mind stimulation, your personal imagination fantasy creators. Find your favorite and see what happens.
Read Erotica for You.
Fantasy is a powerful component to start a sexual process in your body. If you understand how your body works, then you can use erotica exploration to gain understandings of what turns you on.
I believe that the hard part is releasing unhelpful thinking that has kept you from accessing all of yourself in order to experience your sexuality fully. I offer my knowledge as a way for you to pick up additional information which allows you to be the captain of your own ship, keeper of your own vessel, and mistress of your sexuality.
Erotica is a user-friendly aid that you can tailor to fit your specific sexual wants and needs. Whether focusing on relationship communication, arousal, or new fantasy material, with erotica in your sexuality toolbox, you can begin to tap into a stronger mind-body connection with yourself and/or partner(s).
Rosy’s Pro Tip: Check out Rosy's entire library of erotica in the Rosy App. You’ll even find some of Dr. J’s sexy stories in there! Download Rosy today!
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